so, hmmm, i've only been trying to write this post for the past two months and somehow manage to never finish. here are the brief highlights of the past eight (gasp!) months:

*the girls had a fab year at preschool. they will be at a different school this year, a CATHOLIC school, and i'm sooooo excited! the school is right down the street from our house, which is a double bonus since they have to be there at 8:15--ugh, what an early start time. the only drawback is that one of their BFF's, Kiera, will not be going to the same school. i broke the news yesterday and now they are telling me they're not going to go to school. shoulda waited.

*we were late on the potty training. didn't start until a week and a half ago, but naysayers be damned! it has gone (knock on wood) exceedingly well and i can't believe the girls have been such rockstars. they are still in diapers at night, but i don't care. it is annoying that kate wants to sample every public bathroom we encounter (eww), but i guess that's better than the alternative. don't want to be that mom--you know, the one whose child decorates the floor at Target with her urine.

*some great vacations/visits this year: summer trip to Ohio to visit the families which included a visit with my old college roomie, Kathi, and her hubby and daughter; a mini-reunion weekend in NYC w/my old college roomies; an awesome week at the beach in South Carolina with our nearest and dearest (that deserves a post in and of itself); Sarie came out this winter for a divine sisters' weekend (this included a trip to see Ned's weekend place in Lambertville, NJ--so.much.damn.fun.); a trip to Pittsburgh to finally see Jennifer's "new" place.

*got to see The Dead at MSG in the city. amazing is an understatement and the show was so tight and so good that i seriously wanted to drop out of my life temporarily so i could go on tour. what a trip down memory lane (and a not-so-subtle reminder that my youth is gone).

*our dear friend Lisa had her baby--Grace Elizabeth. what a treat to see Lisapete become parents--nothing better than watching your friends falling in love with their child. and what a cutie pie she is--Grace wins the award for best baby ever. she's been a superstar sleeper since birth and always seems to be happy. bliss!

*the girls no longer nap. this is not a "highlight" so to speak, but it's been a big change for all of us. i miss my afternoon breaks. they teased us by continuing to nap for a couple of weeks after the transition to "princess" beds, but quickly decided it was more fun to destroy their room instead of sleeping. this can make for very.long.days.

*anyone who says two is harder than three is a damn liar. and anyone who says they parent without yelling and/or losing their cool needs to be shot. immediately. the terrible three's is in full-force at the Grzybowski house. as much as the girls own our hearts, it's rather frightening that they can turn into such mouthy monsters with little to no warning. Kate likes to push her limits with her, um, word choices and can dish out the attitude like nobody's business. Julia has zero interest in sassing back (for the most part), but she wants to get her way at all times. she also likes to try to give orders and then all hell breaks loose when you tell her no. suffice it to say, we do not live in a quiet house.

*when they're good, they are very, very, VERY good. they've had a lot of days recently where they play together like little angels and it's so entertaining/heartwarming to listen to the conversations they have. whether they're coloring or playing picnic, it is very rare that they ever.stop.talking. and they are so insanely creative and articulate--one of their favorite pastimes is to make up words and then go around the house and point out what items are "fascha" or "barka." of course, try and ask them what these oft-repeated words mean and you'll get a different answer every time.

going to add some pics now--who knows, i may even post again before 2010.

THE "F" WORD........

No, no, no silly readers--before you go and get worked into a tizzy, gimme a chance to explain!! It is so not the real "F" word. The "F" word of which I am referring to is comprised of a mere three letters and refers most often to one's size. Got it? Now, a little side note--most of you know I rival a sailor when it comes to my lexicon of swear words, and in all honesty, I love the real "F" word. Clearly this is one of the posts my sweet girls will not be allowed to read until they're 60......but, I do have the utmost respect and admiration for the real "F" word. Seriously, I challenge you to find a word that has such a versatile purpose in our everyday vernacular. It's a total multi-purpose, multi-tasking, i'm a-workin' hard for my money kind of word--noun, verb, adjective--whatevs, dudes, it's all freaking there!!! And I love it and have to exert massive amounts of self-discipline now that my blobs are speaking creatures who repeat every.single.thing.i.say.

On to my point.....the "F" word. FAT. Fatfatfatfatfatfatfat. One of the most fricative and offensive words in the English language, and hence, (thank you Sara), a banned word in our household. The girls aren't even three yet, but I'm already worried, immensely, about the new "F" word of which I speak. Since the moment I found out, at 16 weeks, that at least one of the twinners was a girl, I have been stressing hard about this word and all the nastiness that it implies. And more so, how on earth I'm going to raise two girls who have a strong sense of self that is independent of their physical appearance. You see, I've been categorizing myself as fat since, oh, I don't know, the age of 9? This is not good when you are the mother of two daughters. Especially when you have no clue how to go about avoiding doing anything that would in any way, shape or form teach them that self-image is largely based on how pretty you are, or how itsy-bitsy your body is.

Kate and Julia aren't even 3 yet, almost, but not yet. They are obsessed with all things princess. Have I ever mentioned how much I f***ing hate Disney? I hated it before the girls, and now that I have them, I loathe it so much I could gag on my feelings. It is really cute (I grudgingly admit) to watch them dress up and pretend to be Ariel, and Belle, and all those other hooches. But it's cute because of the levels of creativity they display when ACTING like princesses. It's in the dialogue, peeps, the dia-freaking-logue.

However, Kate has now adopted a new defense mechanism when I tell her she needs to wear pants b/c it's 5000 degrees below zero. It goes something like this.....

".....but Mommy, but Mommy, I want to be a princess. I want to be beautiful, a beautiful, pretty princess. Princesses don't (said in demonic, devil-possessed voice) wear pants. (screaming) I WON'T BE PRETTY IF I DON'T WEAR A DRESS/SKIRT/TUTU."

Julia has been sleeping with her tutu and princess crown on every single night since we returned from our holiday travels.

Seriously? These are MY kids? I didn't even like playing with barbies when I was growing up so where on earth is this coming from?

It has to start now, right? The "training" of the girls so they don't grow up to be consumed by the sense of physical self-loathing that runs somewhat rampantly through my (of course, "my") side of the family. I know I can read books about it. And I have to be honest, that makes me feel a bit resentful. I should be smart enough to figure out what not to do just from my own experience. I'm a mom for Pete's sake, and mom's should innately know how to do this shit. Right? (***rhetorical question, guys). I. DON"T. KNOW.

And it worries me. This is the shit that keeps me up when I'm trying so desperately to fall asleep. One of those self-humbling things that makes me feel like I'm an actress and I'm so not equipped, or worthy, to be in charge of these two perfect and wild and gorgeously delicious girls. I don't even know where to start.

They both are already asking me if they look pretty when they put on their lusted-after dresses/skirts/girly crap. I repeatedly tell them that they look pretty ALL.THE.TIME. They're already smarter than me (takes a REAL woman to admit that, no?)......they respond with "yeah, but Mommy, but Mommy, I look realllllllly pretty because I'm wearing a..........."

I am in over my head.

And I wouldn't trade it for the world. (but i might almost consider it for a tummy tuck? KIDDING!)

If I were a happy camper, I'd be reveling in the fact that it's Friday. Clearly I'm not that chipper as "thank God it's Friday" is quite possibly the last thing I feel like saying right now. What a morning it's been. I'm tempted to launch into a tirade filled with expletives, but am chanting to myself "this is a G-rated blog, this is a G-rated blog." Know that I'm silently screaming over and over and over in my head.

The girls cannot, should not, and must not be left alone. At all. Not even for one flippin' minute. I'm the dumb-ass who should know better, but for some reason I keep giving them the benefit of the doubt. After they got into the toothpaste and hand soap this morning (which is like, I don't know, the tenth time this week), they went back in the bathroom and got into my makeup bag. You would think me not being a makeup kind of girl would mean that this wasn't such a big deal. Not so. Kate colored her face with my eye liner. Julia was sucking on my big, bushy, blush brush. GROSS.

After cleaning them up, I finally smartened up and locked the bathroom door (thank god it's easy to pick that lock or I'd be screwed). I made the girls come down to the basement with me. Silly me, I thought I could put a show on for them and they'd be placated while I continued my never-ending, online search for kids' bedding. About five minutes into Mickey Mouse, they told me they had to go upstairs to get some books. Harmless, I thought. Foolish, foolish Mommy ignored the fact that it was eerily silent upstairs. Ten whopping minutes later, I decided to go check things out. Um, yeah. Both girls were standing on chairs they had pulled up to the kitchen sink. Julia had pulled out every single Lysol wipe from the container and was lining them up between the sink and the counter. Kate had found a new way to entertain herself with the dish soap--holding it upside down over the sink and squeezing the shit out of it. I estimate we lost roughly half of the bottle. I asked them (barely holding back tears) what on earth they thought they were doing. Kate demanded that I go back to the basement while glaring at me, and Julia smiled as she informed me they were cleaning. What in the hell is this???? Where are they coming up with this stuff? They have so many toys we barely have room to live and it's more fun to play with dishsoap and eyeliner???? Are you kidding me?

My house is a mess, I have zero energy to clean, and I'm toying around with the idea of breaking my leg. A month in a quiet hospital room sounds more blissful and rejuvenating than a week at the spa.

God help me.

A Happy (albeit, belated) New Year! Wow, so here it is 2009 and I have yet to blog until today. January's almost over and I'm still the world's biggest procrastinator. The holidays were fantabulous (minus a run of the stomach flu), and the girls were so into Christmas. Our time in Ohio was all too short, but we're hoping to rework Scott's vacay days so we can have a bigger chunk of time at home during the winter festivities in '09.

So, where to start? We had 3 Christmases altogether--one in Jersey, one with Mimi and Papa and the Leonard side of the fam, and one with Grandma & Grandpa/Grizz side of the family. The girls were spoiled rotten, which seems to be the norm.....they were sooooo into all things Christmas. Even something as simple as driving from point A to point B got them all amped up as they squealed over the various holiday decorations people had on display (and of course, the tackier the better). We were lucky enough to take them to THE neighborhood in Strongsville (where Scott grew up), where it's pretty much a requirement that you have to go all out and then some w/your decorations. The girls LOVED it and watching them really get into the holiday spirit was priceless. They especially loved spending time with their cousins, Livvy and Jack, and watching the four kids play together was probably my favorite part of the trip.

We're back to the daily grind--preschool has resumed (whew for me), gymnastics is over, and the yearly plans for vacations, activities and all that jazz has begun. In less than 3 months, the girls will be celebrating their third birthday--holy toledo!! That means that we have to make the switch to twin beds (bye bye naptime) and start preparing for the inevitable and much-dreaded task of potty-training. I am seriously contemplating hiring somebody to do it for me.

Random bits I don't want to forget.......

*Julia has been sleeping with her tiara ("princess crown") ever since we returned from our holiday travels. I don't get how that can possibly be comfy, but she refuses to part with the damn thing (even wore it to church this weekend, much to the dismay of my in-laws).

*One of the the girls' favorite expressions (esp. when they're trying to convince me to let them have something I don't particularly want them to have, i.e.--an uber-sugary snack) is to say, "that's my FAVORITE (insert desired object)". It's quite amusing.

*Kate is following in my footsteps and has designated pink as her favorite color. Good taste. Mommy should be proud. Mommy is annoyed. Kate only wants to wear pink clothes. Her love for pink runs so deep that she asked Ray, the Home Depot dude handling our window replacement project, to make sure the new window in her room is pink.

*Julia has a new Oscar-worthy routine. Not sure where she got this, but one of her newest gigs is to say in her tiny, sweet, voice "I'm really tired." Doesn't sound that funny when you read it. I guarantee deep belly laughs if you are lucky enough to hear her do it--between her facial expression and her exaggerated articulation/enunciaton of her award-winning phrase, well, it's too damn funny. She's also figured out that if Mommy's crabby, Mommy will lighten up with the simple utterance of "I'm really tired."

*Some evil outside force has taught our precious angels how to say "shut up." Scott and I both almost collectively shit ourselves when Kate first told Daddy to shut up. This is definitely worse than them telling us to go away. This is the toddler version of the middle finger. I hate it.

*Both girls love coloring, especially with markers. I don't know how our parents managed without washable markers. Kate always manages to color her arms when I'm not looking. Aunt Chris gave them an easel for Christmas and I'm wondering when it's going to sink in that the easel is NOT a climbing apparatus.

*Kate is STILL the world's pickiest eater. Julia is STILL the world's greatest eater. I made falafel the other day and Julia loved it. She definitely gets that from Scott. Kate eats so much mac-n-cheese (the dirty, processed, fake-cheese, nutritionally void kind) that I worry she will turn into a gelatinous yellow pile of mush. Trying to get her to eat new foods is impossible and leads to level-10 tantrums.

*Every time the girls take a bath, they fight over who gets the scissors. Not to worry, these are playdoh scissors--since I refuse to let them play with playdoh (mean mommy, yep) they take them in the tub. They use them to cut their bunny loofah's "skips". Don't ask me what skips are. I have yet to get an answer that is comprehensible.

Me: Girls, please, what are skips?

K&J: Uh, Mommy, bunny loofah has skips.

Me: Can you show me the skips?

Julia: No. I cutting them.

Kate: (holding up bunny loofah) Dere Mommy, dose are skips.

Me: Can you point to them with your finger?

K&J......throw loofahs at my face. There you go.

*The girls, when not trying to physically maim one another, LOVE being sisters. Sure, they fight, and yes, it makes me want to run for the hills, but watching them play together rocks. They are so creative and funny and I love the games they make up. My heart still melts every time they hold hands and dance while singing "Skip to My Lou."

So.......I'm sure I'm forgetting a ton, but I gots to go. I smell poopy diapers and both girls are denying they've dumped. Nice.

We had a great Thanksgiving in Cleveland with Scott's family. Well, they are MY family now, but you know what I mean. The girls loved seeing their Grandma Bamma, Grandpa David and Aunt Jennifer (she has princess hair!). Pat (aka, Grandma Bamma) made a super-delish turkey day feast, and we all ate way too much. Kate, true to her word, didn't touch the turkey and instead ate a bowl of cereal for dinner--nothing says Thanksgiving like Cheerios! Julia, to the surprise of, um, nobody, gorged on turkey before we even sat down to eat, and then spent her time eating the jello mold (I think that's what it's called--I generally don't touch those things, no offense to jello lovers out there). I'm not sure if she actually ate much of the jello--Grandpa David kept putting whip cream on it, and she would shove a forkful in her mouth and then demand "more cream, please."

The trip was full of wonderful treats--I was spoiled with basically an entire day off on Friday so I could shop with Pat and Jennifer. I knocked out a lot of holiday shopping, and I'm soooo close to being done--woo hoo! Mind you, we didn't get up at the butt-crack of dawn to begin our buying--and we still had to wait in line for an hour at Kohl's. But, it was so much fun. Jennifer was blessed by the parking gods that day, and at every single store we visited, she managed to finagle a parking spot right by the front door--go figure! Now, I love to shop, a LOT. It's akin to a spiritual cleansing and it gives me a drug-like high to find those super-good deals. What made it really special was the fact that I was with Pat and Jennifer--not many people are lucky enough to have the kind of in-laws that they actually want to spend as much time as possible with. It was a girls' day out in every sense of the word, and I was doubly impressed by Pat's can-do attitude--she was feeling a bit under the weather but didn't let that stop her for shopping until we felt like dropping!

Saturday morning was spent visiting Santa at this insane nursery in Strongsville, where Scott grew up. Now, I had been to this particular nursery before, but never at Christmas time. Holy shit--talk about a Winter Wonderland--it was crazy cool! This place is huge and it was decorated within an inch of its life--the girls were in total awe and seeing their excitement was priceless. We watched Santa arrive in the parking lot on a fire engine (his sled must have been in the shop, but still, a fire engine?). I was standing with Kate trying to take pictures of Santa, and listening to her as he approached the crowd brought tears to my eyes. She had her arms extended and kept saying "Santa, I here, Kate's here, I talk to you, yeaaah." I almost did the ugly cry.

Of course, almost as soon as we got in line to take pics, Julia was protesting and informing anyone and everyone that she was NOT going to sit with Santa. Long story short--we had to all get in the picture. Scott and I were not dressed for the occasion, but it was still amusing--I'm not one for doing the family photo thing on holiday cards, but I'm going to embrace the utter cheesiness of two overgrown adults and their offspring gathering around the jolly old fellow and include it in this year's greeting.

One of the biggest treats of our trip was reuniting with my long-lost friend Kathi. Okay, she's never really been lost, she's just been in Cleveland and we fell out of touch after college. Thanks to the wonders of the internet, we reconnected via Facebook, and I got to hang out with her, her hubby John, and her unbelievably gorgeous daughter, Alex. Scott was sick, and the girls seemed like they were getting there, so I went solo to Kathi's house. WOW. To say it was fun to see her and her family is a ginormous understatement. Kathi was my roomie in college, and was always more of a sister than a friend. She and John stood by my side during some incredibly tough situations and I've always felt such sadness at the fact that we lost touch. I have to admit, I was nervous about seeing her--it had been 12 FREAKING YEARS, and who knew if we'd even have anything in common anymore, ya know? It still makes me uber emotional to think about--no surprise there, I know. I could go on and on and gush and gush, but I'll try to be succinct and wrap it up (must shower before the girls wake up)........besides the joy of seeing my friend/s, it was so cool to see that all the things I loved about Kathi in college are STILL THERE. She's as sweet and funny as ever, and artistically talented to boot. It was very healing. I've missed her so much and to see her during the time of year when we're supposed to reflect on what we're grateful for made it all the more poignant.

Have to run. Want to post some pics and must wash this mop before wakey-time.

Heart hug.

The Twids' First Halloween

Okay, so it wasn't exactly your first Halloween, girls, but it was your first time trick-or-treating--and what a treat it was!! It didn't hurt that you two were the cutest little bugs I've ever laid eyes on--Julia, you were a ladybug, and Kate, you were a bumble bee. I thought for sure you would want to dress up as princesses since you are obsessed with all things princess, but you picked out your costumes and made it very clear that you wanted to be insects.

I don't know if I should be thanking that ginormous-headed exhibitionist (aka--Dora), but you two had an inhuman amount of enthusiasm for all things Halloween. Prior to yesterday's festivities, you had seen, several times over, a Halloween episode of Dora that more than explained what exactly was involved in soliciting candy from strangers. Preschool also provided some reinforcements, and you two were ready and raring to go.

Daddy was able to come home from work early, and we could not get you out of the door fast enough. One of the many strange things about Jersey is that there isn't a set time for Halloween. When we were kids, trick-or-treat was crammed into a two hour time frame, usually beginning right before sundown. Not so in Bergen County--here, it's basically a free for all that starts as soon as school lets out, and goes until (as far as I can tell) parents get tired of lugging their over-stimulated offspring around.

I had heard that downtown Westwood (which is basically one main drag, very similar to the Oxford's uptown area) had a pretty good trick-or-treat shindig, so we decided to check that out. Heavens to freaking betsy--it was rockin'! What an efficient system (which appealed to Mommy's super-anal-retentive-control-freak side)--all of the vendors participated and it was so.much.damn.fun.

You two were divas and Kate, you especially, had zero need for me and Daddy to help you out. I think you thought you were like 13.....you didn't want to hold hands and you would march your little bumblebee butt up to people without any hesitation before demanding your candy (which you did very sweetly). Julia, you were a bit shy in the beginning, but you quickly got the hang of it--so much so that anytime we came upon suckers, you made your wishes known. "I want red." If you were feeling gracious, you would add a please, but that didn't happen too often.

It was hilarious to watch the two of you go into some of these stores--particularly the jewelry stores and Shaw's Book Store. You were both fascinated by all the shiny sparkly jewelry and instead of asking for candy, you just wanted to walk around and look at all the diamonds and glittering fancy garb. I knew for sure you were my daughters when we walked into Shaw's and Kate, you let out the loudest "OH MY GOSH OH MY GOSH!" You immediately found your way to the kids' section and made yourself at home. Daddy had to remind you that we were there to get candy, but you just couldn't believe how many cool books there were to see.

After stocking up on candy, we made our way home, and quite belatedly, decided to carve our pumpkin. Daddy handled the carving and you two were mesmerized--as you can tell from the pictures. Watching you two was such a trip, and I have an entirely new appreciation for Halloween. You melted my heart about a hundred million times yesterday and I just want to gobble you up and revel in your deliciousness. You two are so amazingly cool and funny and I cannot believe how fast you're growing up.

Smooches.

What a great weekend!! Our dear friends (Aubrey, Ottis, and Cameron) trekked it out to Jersey to spend a few days with us. I hope I'm not just speaking for myself when I say that a great time was had by all. It was so nice to be able to spend quality time together. Aubrey and I always make it a point to hang out when I'm in Cincy, but the hubbies usually aren't with us, and we don't usually get a lot of time visiting with the kids. I feel like I finally got to know sweet Baby Cameron--he's the spitting image of his dad, and such a sweetie pie. He also still has that yummy baby smell and I couldn't get enough of his deliciousness. He's at such a fun age, although I do feel bad that Aubrey and O had to spend so much time shadowing him as he tried to maneuver the stairs!

One of the funniest parts of the weekend was Kate's creation of Ottis's new nickname--"other daddy." This is one of those times where you're seriously wishing you could get inside of her brain to figure out her thinking process. It's not like the girl has never been around other fathers--but for whatever reason, she decided that since Ottis is indeed a daddy, and he isn't HER daddy, he would thus be known as "other daddy."

There was a whole lot of over-indulgence while the Coates family was in town--lots of fatty food and lots (like crazy lots) of adult beverages. Aubrey and I took Saturday afternoon and evening off--we lunched, saw a great movie (Ghost Town, see it NOW if you haven't already), and then went out for apps and drinks. *SIGH*--how I miss my time with my girlfriends!! We had to go to New York (not the city, just the state) to see the movie, and go figure, I missed our exit on the way back to Jersey. Aubrey was quite gracious about the fact that our detour took us (almost) to the Catskills and ate into over, oh, like 2ish hours of our time! At least the autumnal foliage was out full force so the scenery (I hope?) made up for it!!

The maniac men took in the Bengals-Jets game on Sunday, and I'm not going to even get into the shenanigans that occurred. No need to revisit that drama--although I am glad they had fun. Truly, I am :). Scott doesn't get many opportunities to relax and do something he truly enjoys--like going to NFL games with friends. He got stuck taking me to the Browns game last year, and I'm quite sure he had more fun with Ottis than he did with me.

Saying goodbye to the Coates fam was bittersweet--it was so nice having them here. They're such an important part of our family and we miss them. I can't let myself dwell on just how much we miss them, or how much fun we had hanging with our Cincy crew, or the endless Trivial Pursuit games and the shit talking and the Cranium and the birthday parties and the cookouts and the bar-hopping and the Basco incident and the whispery "hi" phone call or the.......you get the point.

So, Aub, Ottis Other Daddy, if you're reading this, thank you so very, very much for spending the weekend in the 'wood--we LOVED having you here! You guys are a big part of the reason we miss Ohio so much and we're so touched that you came to the Garden State to play--smooches!